the brightness of december

I have always loved this season. The cold winter air, the darkened days and streets, filled with bright lights. The songs, the candles, our Dutch Sinterklaas tradition, all those eyes shimmering, family and friends brought together. The cozy homes full of love and merry-nesscracking records playing soft Christmas songs and fresh baked goods right out of the oven.

I remember the old days where my friends and I traveled the country by train, the cold days that we lived our adventures on. Our feet cracking in the snow on our millionth Ikea-trip, us popping the champagne and watching the new years eve fireworks together. Four years ago I met my love this time of year, our first date at the –very cliché- winter wonderland in town, with lights surrounding us and him teaching me how to ice skate, moving into our first apartment together on the first of November the year after- it almost seems like the best things happen around this time and it has completely enchanted me.

But this year, December is even more special. My dear sister is about to have her first child, a tiny baby girl. I don’t really need to explain my baby-obsession once again for you to understand how special this is to me. This week I drove to my sister and her husband to shoot some photographs of her baby bump and the lovely parents-to-be and I felt kind of lovestruck actually.

My stunning sister and her beautiful belly, with her precious baby inside:

The whole ‘creating a baby inside a belly’-thing is amazing at it is, but I cannot wrap my head around the fact it is my sister doing it and the baby inside will carry the same blood as I am carrying. My sister will not only be a sister, a daughter, a wife and a colleague… she will be a mother first. And I couldn’t be more sure that she will be an amazing one, and that her husband will be the perfect father for my baby niece. The upcoming days we will patiently wait for her to arrive.

Because of this, planning Christmas isn’t really going to work out this year. However, I think she’ll be the most beautiful gift in the world to all of us. We’ve had a couple of rough years in which we lost our father, something I really wouldn’t recommend to anyone… On big moments like these, we miss him the absolute most and that is kind of too painful to explain. Anyone who’s been there in one way or another will understand though, it just breaks you. I’m so proud of how strong both my mama and my sister are, and I’m more than grateful to still have them, right here, in my life. Long story short: this little girl is already one of the best things that has happened to us in those four years. She’ll be carrying his blood wherever she goes and he would have been the best granddad in the world. I secretly hope to see some part of him in her eyes someday.

And also: that little baby will make me an auntie for the very first time and I couldn’t be more proud of that title <3.

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